May 2015 be even better!

We welcomed 2015 in a simple way - just the two of us, at home (after a tiring day traipsing around the city, getting our new mobiles which were way overdue, and shopping). Simple, understated but really with the only one who matters to me.

2014 was a challenging year for us as we were financially stretched to our limits up to quarter 3. It also included a big move from one country to another and having to acclimatise to the weather, culture and the people. It also meant we were closer to our families, once again, and with it comes a lot more responsibilities and expectations.

Bali : Last days of May

How joyful we were when Sam's first proper paycheck came in towards the end of May. And again we caught ourselves having celebratory kisses and embraces as if it were something that just happened. Thus, we were having happy celebratory kisses all month long! 

My idea to finally hold our wedding reception at the start of 2016 meant we spent most of May looking at hotels and restaurants and possible venues. Nothing much came out of the search that has struck our fancy. Then we both fell ill with cold. Poor Sam had it worser than I did - with his fever and stuffy nose, he still had to head in to work. I, on the other hand, just focused on looking for a wedding venue. 

Sam had applied for his annual leave from work about 6 months ago for a period of 3 days at the end of May. His company had given him 4 extra days off and that was a real nice stretch. As his leave from work came closer and closer, we began fretting as we were both unwell and couldn't even think of where to go. Yet it would have been our first proper holidays since 2012 (on our own, without the company of anyone else)! We discussed over it several times and then decided that perhaps it's best to just cancel on our holiday and recuperate from our colds and then head back to our home country to look for wedding venues and maybe squeeze in a night or two of hotel stay. I couldn't bear to tell Sam that I felt quite sad that our holiday had to be cancelled. So I just kept mum about it. What I did not know was that he was feeling just as sad about it as I was. 

Three days before his leave was to begin, he came home from work and reflected on how he has been working since his graduation back in 2008 and only had one proper holiday in Thailand with me back in 2012. We had 3 short trips within WA during our time there with his friends and our family members, and another road trip within Malaysia last year and that was that within these 3 years. He was wistful as he expressed how he wished he could relate to stories of my travels. Oh, how I did travel in those years before I met Sam and how I do long for it. Yet, sometimes, regardless of your yearnings, if you can't possibly afford it, you merely have to stamp those longings away and make do with what you have. But now, for the first time, we could afford a holiday and we were just feeling so under the weather. Yet, when Sam expressed his deepest longing, it tugged at the strings of my heart and that's when I told him we'll just go on a holiday after all. He was overjoyed when he heard me say that. Unbeknownst to each other, we both wanted a holiday after all! 

We still hadn't figured out the destination and so I suggested that we each think of 3 places and then compare our list the day after. Yet the very next day, neither one of us prepared a list and I only had one place to suggest - Bali. And so Bali it was! As we didn't have much time to spare and we were both so unwell, we decided to split the chores to expedite things. Sam had air flight booking and car rental arrangements on his plate; whilst I had accommodation searching and arrangements for activities/attractions visiting on mine. I think Sam had it tougher as he had to work while I was done with all my projects. And it's a good thing that I visited Bali 10 years ago so I had a rough idea of what I wanted Sam to experience during our holiday. He initially said our holiday should be 4 days and 3 nights long, but I insisted that it wouldn't suffice. So he had another day to our trip. But hey, to me...5 days in Bali is never going to be enough. 

On our very night before we were to fly off (the 30th), things became slightly manic. Firstly, I wanted to travel with my 'chicken fillets' (silicone bra) but it gave way in the evening. We were knackered but decided that perhaps it's best to head out and get a pair. We had absolutely no idea where to get the fillets, as we rarely shopped in SG, and decided that it might be best to ring Alicia (Jordan's fiancee) for ideas. She suggested a mall close to her home and then proceeded to tell me that she was alone on her birthday. We felt bad upon hearing that and then immediately made plans to meet up and surprise her with a cake. So off we went, with our bag half packed and without bookings for hotel and car, to shop for the fillet and to meet Alicia. 

Managed to get the fillet (2 sets to boot!), surprise Alicia, spend some time with her and her family, make it back home, packed our bags, booked a car (and still no hotel), and then realised we only had 2 hours left to sleep before we had to be up and ready to get to the airport. Sam, who could easily fall asleep anywhere, knocked off almost immediately. I tossed and turned and before I could even sleep a wink, the alarm started blaring and off the bed we had to go. I was not a happy camper. On top of that, we booked a cab and it left without us! We were both still feeling poorly and chalking up a sleep debt. 

We checked in at the airport only to be warned that we might not get our meal as we did not inform them of our change in travel date. We laid our fears aside with a hurried breakfast. It felt great getting on that plane to kick start our holidays. Yet with our bonked up noses, we felt miserable during the flight and couldn't wait to arrive at Bali. 

First things first, bag collection! Bag handlers broke our handle and this was our last remaining perfect trolley bag. We were upset and to make it worst, it left sharp pointy ends that had to be pressed down simultaneously and was rather dangerous to do. The ends even left a deep impression on our phone covers when I decided that it was safer to use the covers than to risk cutting our fingers. While Sam lodged a report, I had to quickly make use of the free Wifi and get addresses of hotels for us to check out.

The car that we booked for SGD 18 a day was a pleasant surprise. It was only 5 months old, comfortable, fuel savvy and zippy on the road. We looked for the first hotel on our list and couldn't find it. I was relieved, in a way, as the place was just too close to the Airport. Motorcycles were absolutely everywhere. I was glad that I wasn't the one behind the wheel. So there we were, stunned by the heavy traffic without a clue of where we were headed!

In desperation, I suggested that we head to Kuta (pronounced as Ku-ter) in search of a place that would offer us free Wifi. We ended up at Beachwalk Shopping Center and ended up at Calais. I had an absolutely delicious honeydew and strawberry cream smoothie. We didn't get another chance to pop into another Calais for the rest of our trip but it will definitely be on my list of things to savour when we come back to Bali in future. 

The Wifi connection was intermittent and it was kinda frustrating to wait for things to load. In the end, we booked a room in a guesthouse in Changgu (White Dove Villa) through their Marketing person, Fred, who was absolutely helpful in assisting us in every way possible. The place was only a month old and a steal for SGD 15 a day, with the pool right outside our room and a shared kitchen. 

Our excitement did not last long. We took a shower, thinking we'd have a nap before starting off on our adventure. The hot water went off at the start of our shower and we ended up waiting for maintenance to check the pipes for a long time! Our plans to take a nap were crushed. And we decided to head out to Pura Tanah Lot instead. 

Pura Tanah Lot was the one place I regretted never visiting 10 years ago. Yet, as I stood there, taking it all in....I felt a bit let down. It was not how I had imagined it to be, despite all the numerous photos that I had seen of the temple. 

Marriage proposal

Waking up and reading news on the BBC is a habit that I had cultivated over the last 4 years. This morning, one particular article tickled me. It was a piece on a Dutch guy who was proposing to his gf with a plan of serenading her from the window of her bedroom from the platform of a crane. The crane was not secured properly and it went crashing into the neighbour's home! They tried lifting the crane and it went crashing down a second time and did even more extensive damage as by now, the crane is entirely lifted off the ground! The good news is the gf accepted the proposal and no one was hurt in the incident.

This brings back sweet memories of Sam's proposal. It happened a week before our Registration of Marriage (ROM). I had, by then, thought the proposal was never coming. Yes, we were already planning our ROM but a proposal is every girl's dream come true!

As the date of our ROM drew closer, I began thumb twirling and felt anxious. I thought he wouldn't be proposing anymore.

 

How absolutely wrong I was! I had no idea he had something up his sleeves. The weekend before our ROM, he told me he had to attend a course. We met up with his work mates the night before and they all affirmed the fact that they had a full-day course the following day. So I made plans with my gal friend to hang out for the day.

He left around 6 in the morning. I headed out for brunch with my gal pal and told her about my concerns. She assured me that everything would turn out just fine. We went window shopping and took a cruise in an indoor canal. And then, she led me to the newest hotel in town, saying that she wanted to meet a friend who was working there. During all this time, she had numerous phone calls and she would walk off and talk on her mobile. It did raise suspicions at one point, but I laughed it off. And she confided that she was room hunting and the agents were calling for arrangement of viewing appointments. So, I let it slide.

At the lobby of the hotel, we bumped into Sam's cousin! And it struck me as a little odd. But he explained that he was there for work, and they needed to quote the hotel on renovations at the pool area. He brought us up to the pool as it needed a special access card. Then he proceeded to walk us around the pool, whilst asking me for renovation ideas! We then proceeded to a cafe and ordered drinks and began snapping photos.

View from the top of the hotel

My gal pal specifically requested that I snap a photo of her, and so I was happily snapping away, when I heard Sam's voice coming from behind me.

'Will you marry me?' I thought I heard his voice say.

I whirled around in amazement but saw no one. And then I looked down, for he was there, on one bended knee.

I blurted out, 'What are you doing here? Why aren't you at your training?'.

He smiled and calmly said, "I asked you a question. Will you please answer it? Will you marry me?'.

I said "YES!" and we hugged each other and tears of joy streamed down our faces.

Once we were done with our drinks, he then surprised me by telling me that we'd be spending the night in the hotel, and that he had returned home to collect our clothes after I left home! Sam had planned it all so well! He had roped in our friends and his cousin to help him out. 2 of his friends helped to decorate the room.

our room for the night

He proceeded with the last surprise of the day. He rang up room service and asked for a microwave. I was really puzzled. He took out 4 dishes, rice and a bottle of wine.  It turned out, he had rang up my Mum to ask what were my favourite food, and then spent the morning at the market, picking out ingredients with his aunt. And he cooked them all, with slight help from his aunt. This from someone who does not know how to cook, really was very impressive and I felt so touched.

The only one that wasn't on my favourite list is the veg, but it didn't matter as it was all so tasty! 

We wined, dined and then headed for a dip in the pool (which was freezing cold) and then chilled out by the jacuzzi. The next morning was glorious as we spent even more time at the pool before leaving the hotel. Verdict? I was totally blown away! I never knew he had it in him! LOL. Reasons why I love this man. More than 2 years has passed since the day he proposed, yet everyday I fall in love with him all over again.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Life for both of us now is split between 2 countries. Work and life for Sam is in one country. I, on the other hand, have no choice but to exit the country frequently. Life for me is two thirds in one country and a third in our original country. My work remains back home. The constant travelling is tiring, but it is good to have some income coming in.

The time apart can get a little unbearable at times. Sam had to learn to cook in  my absence. We both experienced feeling disorientated in the mornings when we wake up, alone in separate beds, in different countries. On the days when we're both not working, we spend our time in front of our laptops, on Skype. We have our meals together that way too. We bid each other good night through Skype as well. We wished things were different but we haven't reached the point whereby we're able to make changes in it yet. And so we wait, patiently, for time to pass. Time that seems to pass at its own accord, slowly.

Being apart does make us appreciate our time when we're physically in the same place. It is a reminder of how fragile life really is, that nothing really is predictable and to treasure what we have, every second of the day.

We are reaching the end of our tunnel. Soon, there will be no more whining and complaining of being on our own quite so much. We have come a long, long way together in our short time together. We have grown stronger as individuals as well as a couple. We have surprised ourselves when we realised how much sacrifices we've made just to be together the past 4 years. Regrets, we have none. In years to come, we shall look back at the past few years, where we've been so financially strapped but managed to pull it through, with love and determination. My heart and my home is wherever Sam is. 

Putting my needs above his own

My complaints did not fall on deaf ears. Hubby dearest served up 2 breakfast in bed sessions for me over 2 consecutive days! Now, this might be nothing for anyone, but for Sam to actually get out of bed before noon is remarkable. It's a feat all on its own! I'm grateful and not complaining. It is him, going out of his way, putting my needs above his very own.

The rainbows and blue skies are back in our lives. Don't I just wish to have breakfast in bed every morning served up by hubby? 

Putting your needs above mine

Since our lives began together, it became my mantra to always put his needs above mine. Yet what became a mantra for me, may not be so for him. As far as possible, I ensure that there's always warm, cooked food waiting for him when he wakes up or walks through the door, that his laundry and ironing is done, that the house is clean and everything within my possible limited maintenance skills will be at tip top condition. I try hard to be the perfect partner - allowing him space to study as he makes the big switch in his career path. When he comes home late from work, I wait till the food gets cold and zap in the microwave when he walks through the door.

Yet today I stared at the cruel fact that my mantra was definitely not his mantra. If it isn't enough that each morning begins with me waiting for him to wake up for breakfast and then getting frustrated and having it on my own, and then cooking lunch and trying to get him out of bed for at least 2 hours before I started getting upset, today then was the crowning glory in his lack of overseeing to my needs.

After a sleepless night, I texted and requested that he bring home food for dinner for the night. He came home empty handed and reassured me that we'll head out for dinner. I took a nap due to my exhaustion and woke up at 7 p.m and waited an hour for him to get himself out of bed. I told him I was hungry and ready for dinner. He looked at his phone and saw a text message from his aunt and proceeded to then call her and hang on the phone for more than an hour! When my hunger pangs grew worse, I kept signaling for him to hang up but he waves his hand off each time and signals at the fridge. One apple down and with frustration and hunger mounting, I feel very much like a cast-off wife!

If our housemate hadn't walked through the door, he would still be there - on the phone chatting with his aunt! We left for dinner after another round of him chatting with our housemate, much to my dismay. I vented my frustration but as always, he does not show signs of remorse. He mouths one simple 'sorry' and does not offer any explanation. A 'sorry' with no emotions in it. Indignation is what I felt steaming from him, and it made me angry.

9.50 p.m and we finally arrive at the restaurant. I knew that the gastric pangs would surely hit me soon. The food arrived and I tucked in unhappily. Tears streamed down my face, unguarded and raw. He does not notice. His eyes were on the TV. I wipe them away and still it came like a bursting dam. I told  him I needed to head to another shop for a bit and he never once stopped me. I walked around the shop to stop my tears and cool my head. He does not even bother to call to check on me.

Moments later, composed, I went back to the restaurant and finished my meal. We went to the shop to pick up stuff in complete silence.

The gastric pangs came the moment we arrived at the bus stop. It caused cramps in my stomach. I held my hand to my stomach to massage and ease away the pain. He had his eyes glued on his phone. Never once, did he acknowledge me, sitting there next to me. Minutes passed in silence - him on his phone and my having to experience the gastric gases. When the bus arrived, he looked right at me, but as if right though me to tell me that the bus was here. Never once did he ask if I was alright. We got on the bus and he sat next to me, and never once did he look at me till we got off the bus.

I felt so hurt and unloved. How could this man who promised me to look after me for the rest of our lives, be so cold and uncaring? How had our marriage gotten to this stage? Anger, disappointment and sadness comes furling down upon me as I realised then that this person whom I call my husband doesn't really care about my well-being. I pray he'll wake up one day and realise how badly he has hurt my feelings and that I'm still around when that day comes. I pray that I'll have patience to deal with his uncaring behaviour. I pray that things will change. I pray that my love is strong enough to survive this. But most of all, I pray that he will love me as much as I love him.

The inconspicuous silicon cap

The constant swim sessions at the pool at our condo was doing damage to my hair. Gone was its lustrous texture, and it tangled easily. Each swim session ended with a furious hair moisturisation session, (as well as lips moisturisation as the skin of my lips kept peeling!).

Sam and I decided that enough was enough and we had to get something to protect my locks before it worsens. The solution? A silicone swim cap!

Off we went hunting for a silicone cap in the mall. We tested 2 models before deciding on the one that was a third of the price of the other brand.

When we got home and into the shower that night, Sam suggested that we try out my new silicon cap. I've never used a silicon cap in my entire life and was delighted when Sam said he watched a YouTube years ago that taught him how to put on the cap. Isn't this what husbands are for?

I listened to his explanation and thought it wasn't possible. The method was to turn the cap inside out, and then fill it up with water, he said. Alright, I was game for it. "How will it then be turned the right way around?", I quizzed. 

"Don't worry, I know how", he assured me.  

I trust Sam with all my heart and thought nothing about it. He made me crouch down slightly and before I knew it, the silicon cap came crashing down on my head! I was stunned as it did hurt slightly. My husband nearly gave me a concussion! The cap bounced off my head and onto the floor. 

"How could this have possibly worked?" I asked Sam. 

He was equally puzzled but he had seen the video and was sure about it. Now comes the next brainwave. "Why don't you try it on me?", asked Sam. 

I was thrilled. How else would I have been able to show my hubby what a crazy idea this was, whilst having a bit of fun along the way?

I filled up the cap with water and kept asking hubby dear to go lower and lower and then after calling out a warning, let go off the cap.

The cap went crashing down on his head and bounced off. The impact sent Sam reeling to the floor. I laughed so hard that I sat down on the floor.  "OMG! Did we nearly kill ourselves with that incospicuous silicon cap?" I asked.

We laughed at ourselves, the silicone cap and the hilarity of the moment. It was a rare 'Dumb and Dumber' moment - one that I will never forget for the rest of my life. And each time I recount the tale in my head or out loud, it makes me laugh once more. For I wish that moments like these will continue to speckle in our lives, giving it a bit of colour, and a lot of laughs. 

p/s: We've learned the proper way to use the cap now, thanks to YouTube.